Where Did the Love Go with Black People?

Do you think that people of African descent (Africans, African-Americans, Blacks, Caribbean/West Indians, Afro-Hispanics/Latinos/Latinas, Biracials/Multiracials, etc.) have problems loving, embracing and accepting one another? Why are many Black people so angry, bitter, broken and dysfunctional? Why are there grim-looking looks on the faces of many Black people on public transportation? Is there a civil war between Black men and Black women? Are Black women intimidated by Black men who do not fit society’s stereotypes of Black men? Are Black men resentful of Black women altogether? Can straight Black women detect who the gay Black men/Black gay men are in the crowd of the wider Black communities? Why is there so much tension between straight Black women and gay Black men? Do you think Black people will ever get it together any time soon? Are Black people capable of loving each other?

I experienced negative experiences with three different Black women on Monday. Black Woman #1 was a Black woman who got into it with me after me trying to assist her at the turnstyle at the Van Sinderen subway station on the L line.  Black Woman #2 was a cashier at a Duane Reade location on 23rd Street between Lexington Avenue and 3rd Avenue.  She give me unnecessary attitude when I requested for her to reload money onto my Walgreen’s/Duane Reade debit card. She claimed the store did not do that but I let her know that it did and pointed to the poster/signage about the card sponsored both by Duane Reade and Walgreen’s. She felt stupid so she requested her manager, who took my side after I explained my case. She even apologized for Black Woman #2’s lack of customer service and I appreciated that very much as a customer. The manager took care of my transaction and I kept it moving.  Black Woman #3 got pissed with me because I accidentally bumped into her on a crowded C train which I got onto at the Jay Street-MetroTech subway station.  She was one of those bourgeosie (bourghzee) Black types whom I had to let know that it was a crowded train and I was not trying to bump into her to bump into her.  I additionally told her how I wanted to make sure we understood each other. Some other mainstream Black people looked at me like I was crazy and siddity but I did not care nor give a rat’s ass.

I asked myself what have I ever done to Black women and other Black people. I have never done anything to Black people but have always been teased, taunted and berated by Black people since I was born and raised in a Black community like Southside Jamaica, Queens. I even questioned my own racial identity when I was younger if I was not Black enough to other Black people. I knew I never gotten along with many other Black boys because of THEIR taught issues regarding sexuality, manhood/maleness and Blackness.  I was mostly friends with Black girls although some other Black girls did not care for me because I never fit the Black boy barometer.  I became Afrocentric at the age of 16 and have wanted all Black people to return to our cultural and historical greatness as people of African descent in the African Diaspora.  Although I became Afrocentric and developed a love for my people, I always found myself in confrontation with many of my own people and still do unfortunately. I used to start stuff with my mouth, which has always been a weapon for me when dealing with people.  I will take full responsibility but a lot of the verbal confrontations was no fault of my own. No one is perfect and this includes me.  I can state how I attracted a lot of Black people who happened to have been angry, bitter, broken and disgruntled and still do unconsciously. There must be a part of me which is angry, bitter, broken and disgruntled for me to attract Black people with grim looks, stares and features on their faces on public transportation and listen to their talking the talk but no walking the walk complaints about MTA buses and trains taking so long in predominantly Black (African-American, West African, Caribbean/West Indian and Afro-Hispanic/Latino) neighborhoods and communities.  Although I consider myself a Black gay feminist man who loves, honors, respects, adores and upholds Black women, it seems as if I do not get love from some of them for whatever reason. I may be too Afrocentric for them to the point they may accuse me of oppressing and suppressing them and their views on Black womanhood. I may be too gay/Same Gender Loving (SGL) for them and considered a waste to them since I am not romantically nor sexually attracted to women and some Black women have issues with gay Black/Black gay men because we are not in their pools for love, romance, companionship, compatibility and marriage.  I may be too nice and respectful for some of them. I say this because some of them are used to Black guys who are sexist, misogynist, anti-woman, chauvinistic and hateful/disdainful of Black girls and women through hip-hop music and stereotypical images in the mainstream commercial corporate mass media.  Some of them are not used to Black boys and men who carry themselves with class and dignity so they dismiss them as nerds and herbs.  I see the daily anger, sternness and attitudes on many Black women’s faces to the point I wonder if this is one of the many reasons why some Black males and men prefer not to pursue them with love, romance, sex and marriage.  I have not personally done anything to Black women, none that I can think of which could have damaged them in some way or another.  I wonder if we have gotten to the last days when Black men and Black women fighting each other. I watched the movie DJANGO UNCHAINED and understood it as a testament to the love Black men and Black women had for each other during slavery.  A lot of things have happened to us as a whole within the last 45 to 50 years and I will state how the love we had for each other as a people has been placed onto the back burner.

I am optimistic about our people getting it together despite a Black female customer’s view at Dollar Tree that it will never happen. I do not want to cast nor dismiss this possibility. However, for this to happen, we as people of African descent (Africans, African-Americans, Blacks, Caribbean/West Indians, Afro-Hispanics/Latinos/Latinas and Biracials/Multiracials) will have to and must do the work.

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